Because Life Is Confusing

Apart from the witb project, I would like to share this thing with you. My friend once told me just because my life is cheerful doesn't mean I can expect him/her to also be like that, (in terms of love story of course). Hearing that, at first I was mad. I wasn't expecting him/her to be anything. I just wanted him/her to at least still see the bright things in this life. I think I'm not a kind of person who uses every photo with my boyfriend especially when we hug or kiss as avatar, DP BBM, PP FB, and Twitter background. I tweeted about my boyfriend but I didn't think I did that like spammer who showed it off. But then I realized, yes, I was wrong. No more excuses. Thus, to you who might or might not read this, I'm sorry...

I'm just kinda tired of people thinking that my life is that easy. Even my mom does. Well, isn't that being happy a bliss, not curse? I don't know.

But in fact, I guess I can be this cheerful just now after I'm being in relationship. No, I'm not saying you have to be in relationship to become happy. Every little thing in life can give you positivity! But maybe you just can't see it until someone shows you how... (Well, yeah, I'm telling you I was so into romance comic or novel like everyone else was in junior high school until I measured happiness mostly from their love stories. Silly, really.)

I was that person who walked with head down and chose another way to avoid meeting someone. I was that person who's being discriminated just because I'm black and ugly. I once lived by myself and feeling that lonely. I was person who usually became a joke for people laughing at. I was that kind of girl who kept looking from behind the boy she liked or loved. Furthermore, I was that kind of girl who faked smile everytime. 

So typical, so usual, but then people keep saying that my life is so easy. 

Yes, I realize, I'm blessed. Happy family. Capability. Best friends who let me to be who I really am. Very loving boyfriend (even though it wasn't easy to get. I was so naive, and for a year I felt that my friend played this game who made me afraid just to even hear his name.).

I'm blessed, and I don't want to have any crisis first in order to live better -- just like what people say. So, then, I'm confused. Because life is confusing, sure. Is being this blessed, a bliss, or a curse instead? I hope it's a bliss. I hope I can respect it better. I hope I can be better person. I hope I didn't sound like I show it off here.