Love

"And turns out, love shits." 

International Happiness Day

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So, happy #internationalhappinessday! I wasn't aware of this term before until this morning I saw in Instagram and Twitter the posts about it. So what have I done on this happy day? Nothing much, actually. But somehow I'm feeling grateful. And I don't know if it's because today is focused to be happy and I'm happy with the idea of a-project-to-be-happy itself, or it's because today is actually a good day. My 'Praktikum' finished early (after the days before I was actually afraid and freaked out about it), the sun finally came out, and I got some time to relax and now dedicating it to read The Happiness Project until it is finished (I've bought it since 2012 if you remember).

There was a lil farewell with my friend today since he will leave Germany for good tomorrow, and he somehow marked that I've traveled a lot here. Well I didn't really notice it before, to be honest. Or, well, I sometimes noticed but sometimes got overwhelmed by people's posts in social medias about how good their lives (again) until I forgot about it. So basically today, combining with good weather, good day in university, good rest and reading a good book about happiness, I realise that I'm content with my life again after the days before I literally cried. I keep asking myself whether to walk away or try harder with this all without really answering because I couldn't find an answer that satisfies me enough.

I guess that's pretty normal, isn't it? That one day you wake up and just feel the need to runaway from this. That the life you're living is just a kind of black hole and you are trapped there. But another day, one and another thing help you to point out that your life is beautiful enough. So for today, since it's #happinessday, I and you should just embrace the happiness. Happy #happinessday people! :)

Collecting Chocolate And Flowers This Year

Well this is a post about this year's carnival. As usual there's a big big carnival held in Cologne (and Düsseldorf, and Aachen, and other part of Germany too) for Rosenmontag. This year I also participated with my friends. But unlike last year where we raised our hand nonstop and shouting 'alaaf' or 'kammile' (or I don't actually know what we have to shout) in order to get chocolate as much as possible, this year we got tired so easily. Maybe that's because it's not the first time experience again. Our excitement has faded. However we still enjoyed carnival's day, and still collected some chocolate and flowers.

Us before going to Cologne.

The parade began, and it's pretty much the same like last year. 

Though my favorite was still looking at the decoration of the wagon without understanding the meaning of it. ('My mother' here said that it had political issue actually).

Oh, on the bright side, I'm done with exams for this semester. Yeah, although Monday the new semester starts, and I'm pretty sure it has its challenge already. Now I just want to continue reading Fangirl or browsing and relaxing for a while. 

Break Free

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This is not the first time that I think i just want to break free. I just want to write, open an independent bookstore, own a food truck, open a coffee shop. That's the definition of living my life and YOLO for me, I guess. It s not about partying and getting drunk. Well, YOLO is still a bit about traveling. I still do want to travel. And I'm happy enough that since I live here, it's honestly easier for me to do so.

However I've seen a lot of people who doesn't really pursue formal education via college and stuffs but is awesome. These people work their a** off for their dream, and I want to be like them. I'm thinking about, again, breaking free.

But then I sometimes do enjoy studying. I do enjoy working my a** off doing these stuffs. Staying at library, solving problems. So maybe, this breaking free is just the way of my brain thinks when I'm already exhausted with exams and studying.

Or still, maybe it's the truest dream that I have.

Ash Wednesday

Well, I'm not the type who actually really listens to what the Priest says during homily. But since I live here, I go to Church by myself and somehow I always look for some enlightenment, or comfort, or what God actually tells me to do, by listening to homily. However this post is not meant to be some religious post. This post is just me sharing about what the Priest says; when you're fasting, don't let people know you're fasting. don't show it off, don't wear the face that begs for pity.

Yeah I couldn't really understand the whole homily but the first sentence has already kicked/hit/punched me right here. These days I was to be honest complaining and fishing for pity because I think I really work hard here but nobody cares or supports or whatever. Sounds so selfish, eh? I bet people also feel the same when they have to work hard but on the other hand they think it isn't worth something.

So the saying about when you're fasting, don't let people know you're fasting here tells me the same way about when you're working hard and suffering, just don't beg for people praise and pity. Do it because you want to do it, and it's your duty.
Nowadays social media makes it worse actually. I mean, seeing your friends having fun while you have to work hard and they seem don't care, just makes you want to complain and show it off too (that you're actually suffering). So this lent, I want to make resolution where I will open social media less frequently (I don't think I can, but just give it try) as well as stop comparing my life to others. And finally, I think this picture really tells everything. It's been my desktop wallpaper for months till I forget the actual meaning of the sentence.

And by the way, posting this right here seems a bit contradictory. Though I think my friends don't know my blog so I don't actually show it off to them, and besides, who really reads this now? I just want to share. And wishing you a happy Ash Wednesday :)

London: A Trip Where YOLO Word Is Being Abused (Part 2)

Turned out I didn't post right away part two of my trip to London. I must study, and well, I was working on my novel actually instead of really really studying (and now I need to go back on studying). Moreover, I was just on Skype with my family, telling them about my trip to London and now I'm in the mood to post the next part.

So here we go. Day 4 was the day when we were being tourists. We took a ride on the London Eye, we went to Tower Bridge and Tower of London. We actually wanted to go to Tate Modern too, but we were a bit lost, and since I'm not that into real art,  I said just go to the next destination which was Natural History Museum. I wanted to go there since there's a dinosaur fossil there and it seemed a lil bit like museum in Night At The Museum. And since it's also free admission, why not?
After that we also went to Harrods, Picadilly Circus, and M and M World. The next day, the last day for  me to wander around London. I wanted to see guard change so we went to Buckingham Palace and there's a lot, like really a lot, of people waiting in front of the palace. So I just relied on my camera to see what's going on. And then we went to Oxford Street and Picadilly Circus again.
Then we went to Emirates Stadium to see Arsenal! I'm not a big fan of football, I'm a fan of Die Mannschaft during World Cup 2010, but only that (and yeah I was a fan of Philipp Lahm). I don't follow football club, and honestly since I've lived in Germany, I've became not that interested on watching Die Mannschaft anymore (ironic, I know). But it's a nice experience to watch Arsenal vs Sunderland live. I got to know how the supporters chant. How it feels to see a goal live. And it's worth it. Then after that, I wanted to see London Eye in night because the lights are blue and so romantic. So we went there again (see how tourist I was, right?) and also to Tower London, Tower Bridge and last: Trafalgar Square. That's it! 

 London Eye!

 How crowded it was and how hard it was to take picture with this creature. 

M and M Center.

 Our effort to see these fancy costumes and hats. 

 Oxford Street. 

 Emirates Stadium. 

 My effort to capture Podolski. Yeah, that man is Podolski. 

 The romantic London Eye at night. 

Well, I plan to go to carnaval again tomorrow, so maybe my next post is about it. Meanwhile, wish me luck for next exam thanks, and see ya!