Three Years Ago, What Were You Doing?

I was browsing through make-up reviews (yes, I know, I'm starting to make myself looks more presentable and I believe it isn't too late yet), when I somehow stumbled upon this video. I directly hit subscribe button after watching this video, even though actually I'm not a person who easily follows Youtubers no matter how famous they are. Anyway, the question that she asked in this video is simple; 'where were you three years ago?' If you read my blogposts before, it's obvious that I've been so bitter lately. I have the same fear as her: afraid of not doing enough. I constantly blame myself. I constantly think that I'm not becoming a better person. I honestly think that I have not achieved anything especially when I start to compare myself to other people on social media (who mostly only post their polished-version of life). Thus, I really like this video as it's so straightforward. It shows how those beauty/fashion bloggers start from bottom. It shows how they also are insecure, just like us. They're human. Honestly, I think many fashion/beauty bloggers nowadays only want to show their good sides. They kinda form the idea how their lives are so perfect, even though I believe that they did start from the zero too. 

So, three years ago, what was I doing?

At first I thought that there would be no significant changes in three years. Three years don't seem that long. But when I really think about it again, I realise that I've changed a lot. 

- Three years ago, I was still in high school, living with my parents. I realise I was a spoiled brat. Being raised in a family that is fortunate enough to have maid and driver (well, in Indonesia it's quite common actually), I didn't do my dishes and laundry, I didn't cook, I can't even drive. I thought performing well at school is enough to prove my family that I'm a good kid and deserve some kind of rewards. But, seriously, what kind of thinking is that? Even though I can't say that I'm no longer spoiled, I do try to live more independently now as I'm living by myself.

- In three years, I have travelled to many new places with friends as well as by myself. No, I'm not  a traveller and not gonna self proclaim that I'm a traveller. I'm kinda an 'organising' freak in a way that I have to really triple-quadraple check the itinerary before actually go to the airport/ train station. And I do spend days on Google Maps before going to new places. So I guess I'm just a girl who's lucky enough to get a chance to make new memories. And for me, it's actually already much. 

- I started to try to say my opinion. I wasn't able to say 'yes' or 'no' to people before. When they asked me whether the dresses match them or not, I would always say yes. When they asked me to go out, I couldn't refuse. 

- I started to go to college and then university. Even though it's a bumpy road, it has actually opened so many opportunities.

- And thus, I started to take chances. I tried to work at bookstore. I tried to open business with my friend. I tried to join organisations. I tried to sell stuffs online. I tried to blog and know people from here. 

- I started to finally writing my novels until they are done. I don't leave my draft unfinished anymore. 

- I started to believe that we actually start from zero. Just like first drafts are shit, first try won't always succeed. What matters is that I start. It's no longer just an idea. 

- I started to learn more outside school. Watching tutorials on Youtube, from make-up to how to do amigurumi to how to cook (but I still suck at them). 

- I started to appreciate true friends and let go those who say 'sweetheart' to me but actually won't have my back when life gives me lemon. 

- I started to pray -- like, really really pray. 

Finally, yes, she's right. We sometimes forget how far we have walked already. We forget to believe in ourselves. We forget to believe that in the next three years, we could have accomplished more. This video is just a good way to end this month with good feelings.